Tag Archives: Parenting

How to Establish Healthy Transition Routines at the Start of a New School Year

by Camilla Nichols, Senior Director of Montessori Development

In Montessori schools, we often refer to Head Teachers as “Guides”. The primary role of a Montessori Guide is to act as a role model for the children in her or his care. These Guides, or Head Teachers, are trained to observe and follow the needs of each child, as the needs look different for everyone, and will most certainly change over time. In a nurturing and Prepared Montessori Environment, the goal is to ignite each child’s inner flame and his or her love of learning, while allowing children to become independent citizens of the world. Children will begin to feel a sense of belonging and that they matter, they are needed, and they make a difference to the world and those around them. Together, we establish and create a community where parents, children, and teachers form trusting relationships and build a foundation where everyone can feel safe, loved, and cared for. We welcome our families on this wonderful lifelong journey of learning that starts here at The Montessori Children’s Academy. 

As our families are preparing to return to school, or to begin with us for the first time, we wanted to offer a few tips to help make the start of the new school year as successful as possible for your children and your families.

Read books. A wonderful book that we recommend is The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. This book gives just one example of how to establish a special ritual with your child, reminding your child that you are always nearby and that you love her or him unconditionally. For an audio version of the book, you may want to check out the YouTube video at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWRV6Tmn5gU

Keep your morning routine positive. Children are experts at sensing what their parents are feeling. So, even though you may be a bit anxious yourself, try to stay positive while you and your child are getting ready for school in the morning. 

Keep your school drop-off/goodbye brief. Once at school, keep your goodbye short and positive and don’t linger, as this will only make it harder for both your child and you. Making positive statements such as, “I can’t wait to hear all about your day”, “I love you”, and “I will be back soon”, help your child understand that you are comfortable with the school and know that he or she will be safe there. Trust your child’s teachers and know that your son or daughter is in the hands of other loving, caring adults.

Be on time each day. It is much more challenging for a child to enter a classroom when everyone else has already settled in and is busy working. Children acclimate better to a new school routine when they are entering the classroom during greeting time along with all the other children.

Encourage your child to walk independently into and through the school. Do not carry your child into school, and allow extra time for your child to hang up his or her backpack, coat, lunchbox, etc. Children are more than capable of doing this and when doing this on their own, it helps to foster independence. Practice patience and allow that extra time to “follow the child’s” lead and pace.

Stay consistent with the same routine every day. If your child attends school three days a week, the transition may take a little longer than that of a child that attends five days, where each weekday looks the same. You should allow 6-8 weeks with some ups and downs for your child to get used to the new routines. Remember… a long weekend or an illness that necessitates an absence from school often causes a child to regress and makes them start all over.

Communicate with your child’s Head Teacher. Remember that we are on this path together. Be open to communicate your challenges and needs with your child’s Head Teacher. Share observations and reflections and discuss together a plan/strategy for drop-off if your child needs more support. Discuss this privately with the Head Teacher and not in front of your child. Then stick to the plan and you will see great results.

Support your child as needed. Add a picture of your family to your child’s backpack that can be there as a reminder that family is always close by. Or maybe add a favorite stuffed animal or blanket that will remain in the backpack all day, as the child learns to leave attachments behind and enter through the classroom door independently on his or her own.

Listen to your child. If your child is having a challenging time, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings with phrases such as, “I know you feel sad when I’m leaving, but I also know that you will have a great time and I will be back very soon.” Avoid bribery such as, “If you go to school, I will bring a cookie or a sticker for you at pick-up”, as your child will then start to rely on external rewards in order to go to school. Remember… your child is learning to be a part of society and to adjust to daily routines; not unlike the way parents go to work every day. Encouraging phrases like, “You must feel so proud of yourself” and “You are amazing and I can’t wait to hear about your day”, will help give your child an inner satisfaction that will lead to feeling good about him or herself rather than trying to please mom or dad.

Learn how you can be involved in the MCA Community. Showing your child that you are involved in the school community allows your child to see that mom and dad can learn and have fun too! Attend our Parent Workshops, participate in the Parent Book Club, join us for Harvest Family Fun Day, and drop in for our Coffee Mornings. Speak to your child’s Head Teacher once everyone has settled into the year to learn about the possibility of visiting the classroom to share something from your culture, a recent trip abroad, your profession, or even to read a book to the students. 

Some children will walk through the MCA doors with ease and transition into the new school routines quickly. For other children, the transition may take some time. Therefore, it’s important to know how you can help to make this transition as smooth as possible in a supportive way that will ultimately help your child. Most of the time, it’s harder for the parents to say goodbye than it is for the children. So, a routine that looks the same every day is beneficial for everyone. 

We encourage you, as parents, to embrace this special journey and to take the time to observe how you can encourage opportunities of independence in your child while taking a step back and remembering Maria Montessori’s quote… “Help me to help myself.”

The Montessori Children’s Academy and Cora Hartshorn Arboretum and Bird Sanctuary: A Match Made in Nature!

By Camilla Nichols, Senior Director of Montessori Development

In a quaint neighborhood in Short Hills, New Jersey, within walking distance from the train station, lies a hidden gem; a sanctuary, nestled in the woods known as Cora Hartshorn Arboretum and Bird Sanctuary (CHA). The arboretum was developed by Cora L. Hartshorn on 16.5 acres of land that had been gifted to her by her father, Stewart Hartshorn, in 1923. Cora Hartshorn passed away in 1958, leaving the arboretum and bird sanctuary to Millburn Township. 

In addition to a bird observatory and lab facility, CHA offers over 16 acres of beautiful woodlands with three miles of protected hilly hiking trails. The grounds of this non-profit organization are not only home to undisturbed nature, but house a diverse woodland habitat where native trees, plants, and animals can thrive. CHA offers several impressive environmental educational programs, and the old Stone House contains some live animals, a beehive, and other rotating exhibits. 

Throughout the school year, CHA is a popular field trip destination for school groups, and on the weekends, you will find families participating in guided hikes, Nature Scavenger Hunts, camping in the woods, learning about composting, and more. There is no fee to enter, but donations to CHA are encouraged. 

CHA invites parents to explore its weekly Arboretum Sprouts program for children 18 months to 3 years (with a caregiver) or the After School Turtle Tots drop-off program for 4-year-olds through Kindergarten. Both programs offer nature experiences through hikes, songs, stories, songs, hikes, and hands-on learning.

At CHA, there are opportunities to volunteer, to sponsor an Arboretum Animal, and to become a Hartshorn Arboretum Member. The Montessori Children’s Academy has taken, and will continue to take, advantage of all that CHA has to offer for our students, and we are thrilled that one of our current MCA mothers, Anudeep Virdi, proudly volunteers at CHA. MCA, with support from Mrs. Virdi and the Executive Director of Cora Hartshorn, Tedor Whitman, is thrilled to be building a relationship to support this local hidden treasure, where residents and families from around our great state and beyond can explore and connect with nature all year round. 

Now more than ever, especially since the pandemic of 2020, children are spending more time indoors and have come to depend on screen time where abstract impressions are being introduced. In Richard Louv’s bestselling book, Last Child in the Woods, the author discusses how to save our children from “Nature-Deficit Disorder”. Louv makes direct connections to a lack of nature experiences in children and childhood obesity, attentional issues, and depression. Dr. Maria Montessori also recognized the need to involve the body in order for “natural learning” (or concrete impressions) to take place.

“What the hand does, the mind remembers.” ~ Maria Montessori

Dr. Montessori spoke often of children learning and exploring the world through their senses. For example, while observing a leaf, a child’s vision is being stimulated. While smelling the leaf and listening to the sounds of the woods, the olfactory and auditory senses are being developed. And when touching the leaf, the tactile sense is being stimulated. These are all happening at the same time and constitute a holistic Sensorial learning experience. 

The Montessori Children’s Academy is thrilled to announce that we will be hosting a Harvest Family Fun Day at the Cora Hartshorn Arboretum and Bird Sanctuary this fall. More information will be sent to our MCA parents, and we encourage all of our families to join us outside in nature while we connect with everyone in our MCA community. 

“Let the children be free; encourage them; let them run outside when it is raining; let them remove their shoes when they find a puddle of water; and when the grass of the meadows is wet with dew, let them run on it and trample it with their bare feet; let them rest peacefully when a tree invites them to sleep beneath its shade; let them shout and laugh when the sun wakes them in the morning.” ~ Maria Montessori

For more information on Cora Hartshorn Arboretum and Bird Sanctuary, please visit: https://hartshornarboretum.org

School is Out, Summer is Here… but Learning (and Fun) Don’t Need to End!

by Camilla Nichols and Zachery Inkley,
with additional content by Tori Inkley

Along with welcoming Summer, we would like to provide some fun activities and ideas to help keep your children stimulated in a meaningful way. It’s important for them to remain in a state of learning and exploration even when they’re not attending school. One suggestion would be to arrange a small shelf in your home with activities that you can rotate throughout the summer. Set it up so that your children can independently choose the work they desire. The activities can represent the same areas found in our Prepared Environments at MCA: Practical Life, Sensorial, Language, Science, Math, Cultural, and Art. For more information on how to set up a Prepared Environment at home, visit https://themontessorichildrensacademy.com/blog/2016/06/13/maintaining-a-montessori-mindset-through-the-summer/ and visit https://www.forsmallhands.com/  and  https://livingmontessorinow.com for Montessori items and ideas.

No matter where the summer takes you, we encourage families to spend as much time as possible outside and in nature, as screen time is best saved as a treat for rainy days. New Jersey has so many beautiful parks and beaches for you and your little ones to enjoy. Take a hike through South Mountain Reservation or go see the Great Falls of Paterson! While exploring the outdoors, take time to set up Scavenger Hunts, or help your children craft their own Nature Journals. They can collect and learn about all the different beautiful flowers of our region or do leaf shadings to help fill up the pages of their journals. At home, you and your children could grow an herb, vegetable, or flower garden, or together you could research all the critters roaming in your own backyard! To learn more about animals from all over the globe, your family could take a trip to the Turtle Back Zoo in West Orange, or if your children are more curious about our aquatic friends, you could visit Jenkinson’s Aquarium while enjoying a day on the Point Pleasant boardwalk!

Most of our local libraries have Story Times for children. Taking your young ones to such events will help to inspire their imaginations and reinvigorate their passion for reading. We also encourage you to read with your children at home as often as possible, or maybe listen to audiobooks together while picnicking outside! We’ve included some links to books we recommend at the end of this post.

Finally, if possible, explore local museums and art festivals to stimulate your children’s imaginations and encourage their creative sides. Both Montclair and Morristown, as well as New York City, have excellent museums, and Montclair also has art festivals and live music concerts all summer long! If you really want to watch little eyes go wide, take your children to Liberty Science Center, where they can get a taste of almost everything this world has to offer. Right now, they have an incredible exhibit on the Blue Whale, a Touch Tunnel where children can learn how much we rely on our sense of touch, and a Globe IMAX Theater where you can take incredibly life-like trips through the farthest stretches of the universe and the greatest depths of the sea. We encourage you to embrace every opportunity to expand the young minds of your children and broaden their natural sense of wonder!

We hope all of our families have a lovely summer full of exploration and joy!

NJ Parks and Reservations:

NJ Zoos and Aquariums:

Museums and Creative Centers:

Classic Children’s Books:

  • Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
  • Anatole by Eve Titus
  • Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey
  • Max and the Tag-Along Moon by Floyd Cooper
  • Abuela by Arthur Dorros
  • Corduroy by Don Freeman
  • The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
  • The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf
  • Millions of Cats by Wanda Gag
  • Owl Moon by Jane Yolen
  • The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
  • The Poky Little Puppy by Janette Sebring Lowrey
  • The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
  • Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
  • Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans

Arts and Crafts for Inside Days:

And for those rainy days, or possibly travel days, when you feel a little tech time is appropriate for your children, you may want to check out the app “Mobile Montessori” at https://www.mobilemontessori.org .

2020 Goals: A look at how to approach goal setting with your children

How many of you started out 2020 by making a New Year’s Resolution? And be honest… how many of you by now have already discarded all hope of following through on that resolution? After holidays filled with excess (excessive eating, socializing, shopping, and more!), lots of people have grand notions of reigning it all in on New Year’s Day. Losing 25 pounds in a month. Exercising seven days a week. Burning the credit cards (well, maybe not quite that drastic, but you get the picture). We want a fresh start. We aim big. But by aiming too high, we can easily fall flat.

However, that doesn’t have to happen if we make our resolutions a little more realistic and manageable. Lose ten pounds by the start of spring. Add one new exercise routine to your schedule each week for eight weeks. Limit shopping expenditures by a certain amount each month. In order to start fresh, change our behavior, and stick to our goals, we can turn to countless resources to help us along the way—weight loss programs, smoking cessation techniques, fitness centers, and of course, our friends and family. We can read books, search the internet, or ask our friends who’ve reached goals we aspire to for advice, and then set forth on our path towards reaching the goals we’ve set. If we think about it, having a realistic goal feels good. It motivates us to move in a positive direction, gives us focus, and allows us to celebrate our accomplishments.

Children benefit from goal setting, too. Having goals teaches children about planning, perseverance, and positive behavior. It gives them a sense of control and responsibility for their actions and over their learning. Believe it or not, Montessori students, perhaps without knowing it, set and achieve goals almost daily. Many students enter their classrooms knowing exactly what work they want to do that day. Then, they go to the shelf, collect the work, perform the tasks, and voilà! They’ve achieved their goal! Or, a Montessori student might have been inspired by an older student using a certain material in a more advanced way in October, and then spends time observing to learn how it’s done, until one day in the spring, he or she tries it him or herself. Check—another goal met!

Goals can provide inspiration for trying new things or doing things in new ways. And like adults, children do best in their goal setting with some guidance to help them set attainable goals, develop a plan to achieve them, and support and cheer them along the way. Here are just a few ideas for setting goals with your children this year:

1. Explain what goals are. Merriam-Webster defines the word goal as “the end toward which effort is directed”. By this definition, our goals need to answer the questions “What effort do I want to make?” and “Why?” Equally important is considering the answer to the question “By what date (or in what timeframe) do I want to achieve my goal?” Especially for younger children, shorter-term goals may be best in starting to learn the skill of goal setting.

2. Share your own experiences in setting and achieving goals with your child. Having an example to follow is a great tool. Equally important is sharing any obstacles you faced along the way in reaching or falling short of your own goals. Knowing that there may be bumps in the road teaches your child that there will be challenges, but there are ways to work through those challenges with some planning ahead and support from others. Be sure that you share some simple, daily goals you might have. Note, it’s best if your examples show your child a specific goal that includes a timeframe you had for completing it. For example, you might share with your child that your goal for the day is to shovel the snow before the postal worker is due to arrive. A longer-term goal might be to read one chapter of a new book before bedtime every night until the book is finished. Or, maybe you aspire to learn how to make icing flowers for a birthday cake before Grandma’s 80th birthday in March. These examples of small, simple goals are just as important as sharing a larger goal you may have achieved, such as saving money over a period of time to take a special trip or learning a new skill. Both types of goals illustrate how goals are really part of our daily lives and motivate us to get things done!

3. Encourage your child to brainstorm possible goals. During the brainstorming, some of the ideas your child comes up with might be ‘out there’ and outrageous like “I want to fly to the moon!” Allow those to be shared (you never know—your child may aspire to be an astronaut and achieve that goal of flying to the moon in the future!). However, if there are absolutely no realistic goals on the list at the end of the brainstorming session, remind your child about some of your simpler, daily goals and some goals that your child may have already achieved unwittingly (like learning how to ride a two-wheeler or mastering cursive writing). Ask your child, “What is something you’d like to achieve or overcome?” See if they can verbalize some of their aspirations in terms of friendships, strengthening a certain skill, sports participation, or learning something new. And remember, the goal is the child’s goal for him or herself and not your goal for your child (you can have those, too, but for this exercise, we’re teaching children to set and work towards goals for themselves!).

Have your child consider the list and add to it with something reasonable and specific that might be a better option. You might provide some help in determining if the goal is something that your child does have control of, too. For example, a high school student whose goal is to ‘get into Harvard’ can certainly work very hard towards that goal, but ultimately, it’s the college admissions officer who determines whether the student gets in and the fate of the result lies not with the student but with the school. Instead, keep the goal within the framework of what the child can do and control, such as learning to play a song on the ukulele or trying to be less shy and more outgoing at birthday parties.

4. Write down the goal! This could be a fun art project. Write down the goal on poster board and have your child decorate it in any way she or he would like. Then keep the written goal up in a place your child will see it as a reminder of what she or he hopes to achieve. The poster could also be used as a tool for tracking progress (as you’ll see below in number 6)!

5. Make a plan. Some of your children, particularly Kindergartners and Elementary students, may have ‘work plans’ at school. These are used by students and teachers to organize the work children do in school and keep them on track with their progress through different materials and subjects. Similarly, a personal goal can be set up like these school work plans. Knowing what you want to achieve, setting a target date for achieving it, and then filling in the steps needed to work towards the goal are all part of the plan. This all doesn’t have to be written down, but these are important things to discuss with your child. Breaking a goal into smaller steps is helpful. Reaching each step in itself is an accomplishment that helps spur a child on to following through on whatever larger goal she or he has set. 

This is also a good place to have your child consider what the challenges might be in working toward the goal. It might not be easy all the time, but knowing that ahead of time allows your child to prepare for the ‘what ifs’ and the difficult days. Be sure to remind your child that you are there to support him or her along the way. If appropriate, have your child consider who else might serve as a support in working towards the goal—a teacher, grandparent, librarian, or even YouTube tutorial videos? Knowing the resources available can also be part of the plan and pave the way towards success. Some runners training for a marathon use apps on their smartphones that provide training schedules, and they often enlist a running partner to help from becoming sidetracked or discouraged during their months of training leading up to the big day. Help your child think about resources that might help.

6. Celebrate every success along the way! Now, you don’t need to pull out that credit card here (remember the goal of cutting back on purchases?!), but it is important that you and your child acknowledge the successes your child meets on his or her journey towards reaching the goal that has been set. Positive encouragement in simply acknowledging that you’ve seen your child make an effort to work towards his or her goal might be enough! Or, perhaps have your child go back to the poster board with the goal written on it and add new decorations every time he or she has made some progress. This is very different from someone handing out a ‘gold star’. Instead, your child can take a moment to step back and reflect on what she or he has been working at and recognize the positive movement. It becomes an internal reward system of feeling good about what you’ve been doing. Remember those classroom work plans? The celebration is often being able to cross something off of the ‘to do’ list. That in itself is satisfying and rewarding, and it shows that progress has been made. These small celebrations also provide momentum for continuing on towards that end goal.

And once the goal is achieved, your child might celebrate by thinking up the next bigger goal that lies ahead!

For more information on children and goal setting, see these resources which also were used in compiling some of the information for this article:

Borba, Dr. Michele. “How to Teach Kids Goal-Setting and Perseverance”. US News & World Report. December 2017. https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-12-26/how-to-teach-kids-goal-setting-and-perseverance.

Cullins, Ashley. “4 Steps for Helping Your Child Set Effective Goals (Plus a Bonus Tip)”. Big Life Journal. December 2019. https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/goal-setting-for-kids.

Evitt, Marie Faust. “7 Tips for Teaching Kids How to Set Goals (And Reach Them!)”. Parents Magazine. https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/how-to-teach-kids-perseverance-goal-setting/.

How to Feed Your Child in a Busy World: Advice from a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and MCA Parent

By Karla Gabre, RDN

Every day we are faced with decisions to help build a strong foundation for our children’s future. We make decisions on education, enrichment opportunities, and what technology they are exposed to. We agonize over the choices we have and lay awake wondering if we’ve made the right ones. And often the hardest decision of all? What and how to feed your child! It’s really the first decision we are met with when that little human comes into this world, and we continue to face it every day! Feeding kids is hard work…. even for a Dietitian! I can remember thinking it was going to be a breeze… I mean I had almost 10 years of clinical nutrition experience under my belt when my twins were born. I was used to calculating formulas to feed patients on respirators and making meal plans for newly diagnosed diabetics. How hard could it be to feed these healthy little people? Wow, was I wrong! For me, it wasn’t just the “what” but the “how” that was important. Getting my kids to eat well most of the time in this busy world, but most importantly instilling a good relationship with food that would carry them into adulthood, became a priority for me.

Here are a few tips that I believe are important to help build that strong foundation necessary for healthy relationships around food.

1. Have your children connect with the food that they eat. This might mean you plant a garden together or have a few planted pots of herbs or small vegetables on the back patio or kitchen windowsill. Or maybe you join a CSA or community garden. At the very least, check out some books about food and food sources from your local library and read through them together with your child. It is essential that kids know where their food comes from and that the foods that nourish them come from the earth.

2. Involve your kids in meal planning. After your children learn where food really comes from, get them involved in your family’s meal planning through grocery shopping, prepping, and cooking. Kids as young as three can chop vegetables, peel carrots, and grate cheese. The Montessori philosophy involves children in food prep and serving as part of the Practical Life area of the classroom. Studies show that involving your children in food prep leads to better eating habits long term.

3. Try your best to eat as a family as many nights as possible. Our busy schedules can rob us of precious time sharing a meal. Eating as a family improves eating habits in addition to creating a sacred time and space that your children will start to depend on. Meal time should be a time to share experiences of the day and a time to reconnect. Eating “family style” can also be a great way to empower children to make choices around food. For children that tend to eat selectively, it will give them more control over their meal, as many times this choice can ease the stress for children and increase variety and acceptance.

4. Plan ahead. To get a meal on the table each night takes a little work and some pre- planning. So, whether it’s pulling chicken from the freezer in the morning so that it’s ready to put on the grill or in the oven later or prepping the crock pot the night before, initiating a plan is essential. Busy families may also decide to allocate time to prep or even cook a few large meals ahead of time so that there are meals ready to go in the fridge throughout the week. This food can be packed up for lunches or reheated for a quick meal on a night that meal prep is not possible. A menu pre-planned for the week is also a great way to take the thinking out of the stressful dinnertime hours. Families should work together to create this menu so that everyone’s favorites are incorporated.

5. Be a role model. Having a child makes you take stock in your own behaviors and habits. If your goal is for your child to be a healthy eater (as in eating a variety of foods and trying new foods), make sure you are doing the same! If you have struggled with your relationship with food or body image, this might be a time to take a deeper look into this and work to resolve any issues.

6. Teach mindfulness around food. Breath work and meditation in the Montessori classroom are ways to teach mindfulness and stillness to our children in this fast-paced world. We are a culture of “eating on the run” and this is quickly catching up to us. In the Montessori classroom, children eat together as a community, words of gratitude are said, and children independently choose from their lunch boxes. Talking amongst friends at their lunch table is encouraged. At home, try to make these practices part of your daily routine. In addition, encourage children to “listen to their bodies” for cues of hunger and fullness. It’s important for children to know these feelings in order to develop healthy regulation of food. Many times, when mealtime is rushed or food is eaten “on the go”, it is hard for children to develop these skills and feelings of stress are associated with eating. Meals and snack times should be intentional and joyful experiences for children in order to build a healthy relationship with food.

7. Keep it simple! Strive to make meals and snacks that are balanced and from as many whole foods as possible. Try to “eat the rainbow” to ensure you are providing your children with a variety of essential vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients. Overall, keep it simple and attainable for YOUR family.

For additional reading on this topic, consider checking out the following resources:

Fearless Feeding – How to Raise Healthy Eaters from High Chair to High School by Jill Castle and Maryann Jacobsen

Ellyn Satter Institute – www.ellynsatterinstitute.org