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Weed or Wish?

How many of you have children who just don’t understand why people pull out dandelions from garden beds and lawns? Do your children insist that rather than being pesky weeds, these are actually lovely bursts of sunshine that spring up everywhere brightening the landscape? Do they squeal with glee when they see the ‘wishers’ popping up all around and moan with mourning when they are mowed down each weekend in an effort to keep the lawns looking nice and manicured? So what is a dandelion—a weed or a flower? Is the fluffy ball a wish or a weed? Whichever side of the garden fence you are on, this is just one example of a great teachable moment. And while you might want to teach your personal opinion about dandelions, what we mean is that this is a great opportunity to engage in a friendly debate with your child!

Many parents may believe their children are already experts at arguing (!), but learning how to express an opinion constructively rather than combatively is an important skill to possess. Children can be encouraged to think about their stance on an issue and learn that there’s more to it than arguing just for the sake of arguing. They can be prompted to collect information from reliable sources to help them make better informed comments on whatever position they may take. As they gather information, your children may discover that the facts indeed support their opinions. Or maybe they learn that they don’t, perhaps resulting in a change of mind. Moreover, children can learn that there are at least two sides to every issue and that each side might just have some valid points. Being able to consider an opposing view is as important as having your own. Children can gain empathy as they look at things from different perspectives. Even in the simple ‘weed vs. wish’ discussion, valuable learning is taking place as children actively engage in conversation, thoughtfully debate a topic, and listen to another’s viewpoints.

We’ve compiled just a few topics to get you started. Depending on your child’s age and interests, think of some questions or conversation starters that inspire some deeper thinking. By incorporating these types of questions into your long drives or dinnertimes, you will no doubt begin to have some fun and lively conversations with your family!

Is a dandelion a weed or a wish? Ask your child what he or she thinks about the dandelions that are growing in the yard (or on the soccer field, or in the garden). Are they a beautiful part of nature that should be free to grow voluntarily wherever their seeds land and germinate or are they destructive to the landscape and other growing plants?

Is a spider (or a snake) helpful or harmful? With this question, you might narrow down what type of spider or snake you’re talking about—maybe choose one that you’ve seen in your own area. Should the spider be exterminated because it looks scary or could potentially bite people? Or should it be allowed to spin its web to catch some other pesky bugs?

Should parents always allow children to eat dessert after dinner? Children could call on what they’ve learned about ‘red light’ and ‘green light’ foods with Nurse Bliss as they form their opinions. And what is the definition of dessert? Does it always mean ice cream or cookies? Through some fun research, children might learn that in some parts of the world, the last part of a meal, or ‘dessert’, is actually cheese and fruit.

Is it better to live in a city, a suburb, or a rural area? What does your child like and dislike about your own community’s lifestyle? Who might benefit from living in each type of environment and why? What are the pros and cons of each?

Should animals to be kept in zoos? How do animals benefit from care in a zoo? Are there some animals that are more suited for zoo life than others? Is it ‘fair’ for animals to live in cages?

Is it necessary to say ‘thank you’ to a robot? With our “Siris” and “Alexas”, we often are talking to “robots” of some sort. What are the rules of etiquette, if any, in thanking them for their help?

Naturally, your own family experiences and the ages and developmental stages of your children will guide in your choice of topics. As you engage in these discussions, it might be fun to keep track of your children’s current perspectives in a journal or time capsule. In the future, perhaps to celebrate a milestone birthday or upon high school or college graduation, take out your ‘conversation journal’ and see if your children maintain the same opinions or if they have made some changes in their attitudes towards different subjects. Either way, it’s very likely you will have had some spirited discussions and laid a foundation for effective communication.

“The development of language is part of the development of the personality, for words are the natural means of expressing thoughts and establishing understanding between people.” ~ Maria Montessori

Let’s “Light a Candle for Peace”

Our families know that a key component of the Montessori philosophy is the focus on peace education. Not only do students learn about cultures from around the world to gain respect for and understanding of people of many backgrounds, but they also participate in ongoing grace and courtesy exchanges, mindfulness exercises, and conflict resolution lessons. In addition, Montessori students learn about responsibility for themselves and their choices and for the care and caring of others and the environment, too.

In light of current events which make our hearts heavy, we wanted to take this opportunity to once again share the words of a song our school community learns and sings together each year. We know that our children are our hope for the future, so we remain hopeful that with love, respect, learning, and meaningful experiences, our children will “Light a Candle for Peace” today and always. We wish and will work for a peaceful world for all.

Light a Candle for Peace
By Shelley Murley

Light a candle for peace
Light a candle for love
Light a candle that shines all the way around the world
Light a candle for me
Light a candle for you
That our wish for world peace
Will one day come true! (repeats)
Sing peace around the world
Sing peace around the world
Sing peace around the world
Sing peace around the world (combine chorus and verse)
Light a candle for peace
Light a candle for love
Light a candle that shines all the way around the world
Light a candle for me
Light a candle for you
That our wish for world peace
Will one day come true!

To listen to a recording of the song, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9M8SmWh2Fo .

5 Recommendations for Coping through COVID-19

By Polly Bliss, RN, CSN

We all know from Health classes at MCA that I reinforce with the children five important things to stay healthy: wash your hands, brush your teeth, take a deep breath, eat more fruits and vegetables, and exercise. If you are in Elementary, we add #6, which is to go to bed and get more sleep. Your children hear me repeat these reminders, and we sing songs about these things at the beginning of each Health class.

Well, now I have a list of five things to think about as we move through this pandemic.

Children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. This is a tremendous opportunity for adults to model for children problem-solving, flexibility, compassion, kindness, and healthy habits as we balance work, household chores, school work, and keeping tabs on family. Here are my top five recommendations for taking care of yourself and your family during this very stressful time:

1, Turn off the TV. The 24-hour news cycle is too much. If you must, sit down and watch only the evening news or the morning news. We all want to stay informed, but if the news makes you nervous or causes you anxiety, turn it off, especially before bed. If your children see the news programs or the newspaper headlines, reinforce the things that you as a family have some control over. Tell your children, “We are staying healthy by staying home. We are staying healthy by washing our hands. If we do go out, we wear masks so we don’t share our germs.” Amidst the scary news, point out all the community helpers helping those who are sick and keeping us safe. If your children saw long lines at the food pantry, let them pack up a few food items to donate and drop them off together. Help your children understand some of the information that is shared in the news as appropriate. For example, practice social distancing when you go for walks so your children know what the words ‘social distancing’ mean and what they need to do. Show your children what 6 feet looks like with a piece of rope. Keep telling your children why these things are important, why they work, and why they keep us safe.

2. Watch for signs of stress and anxiety in your home. Is your child regressing? Had your child been sleeping through the night but now is coming into bed with you or having bad dreams? Is your potty-trained child having accidents? Stomachaches, headaches, a constant battle for your attention, or whining can all be signs that your child is stressed. This is the time for extra one-on-one attention, snuggles, hugs, and love. Keeping regular routines and schedules can be reassuring, calming, and can provide a sense of control. Are your children worried about grandparents? Let them call or video chat to reassure and connect with loved ones. If you have to work outside your home, are your children worried about you going to work? Tell them you are safe at work, and mention the things you do to stay safe. Reassure your children that you are all doing whatever you can to make sure they are safe and that everyone will get through this together. Is your child worried about getting sick? Emphasize that most people who get COVID-19 get better, and remind your children of all the things they do to stay healthy. Side note: Washing your hands, brushing your teeth, taking a deep breath, eating fruits and vegetables, exercising, and getting enough sleep all support a healthy immune system. So all those things they’ve heard from Nurse Bliss really are important and helpful! Offering guidance on what your children can do to prevent infection offers them a greater sense of control, and having some control reduces anxiety. Recognize their feelings, and help them talk their way through negative or scary feelings. Children often imagine situations as worse than what they are in reality, so offering developmentally appropriate facts can reduce fears. Ask “What are some of the things you are worried about?” and “What can we do right now to make you feel better?” How you discuss COVID-19 can either increase or decrease your child’s fear. Touch base with your pediatrician if symptoms of stress or anxiety persist and ask for help if needed. If you have teenagers, pay attention to changes in mood, sleep, appetite, difficulty focusing, feelings of hopelessness, or excessive sadness. If you see any signs of substance abuse, definitely seek help. This is a particularly difficult time for that age. Proms, graduations, college visits, driving, and their independence have all been taken away as we shelter in place. Make sure they also have appropriate sources of COVID-19 facts, such as the NJ Department of Health and the CDC. Social media is not the place to get the facts.

3. Take care of yourself. Remember the airplane lesson of putting your mask on first? The same analogy is true during a pandemic. Acknowledge that this is hard. It’s hard to go food shopping. It’s hard putting three meals and snacks together every day. It’s hard keeping your house clean when everyone is home. It’s hard working from home all the time. It’s hard going to work. It’s hard losing your job. It’s hard feeling the responsibility of keeping everyone healthy. It’s hard taking care of extended family. It’s hard when COVID-19 is in your house or if someone you love or know is in the hospital. Give a little COVID kindness to yourself. Remember not to put your health on the back burner either. Many physicians’ offices are providing tele-health, and if you do need to go in and be seen, don’t put it off. Offices are making it work by having you wait in your car instead of the waiting room, doing temperature checks, providing masks, and doing extra hand washing. Pharmacies are delivering now as well.

4. Let it go. If you didn’t get any parenting awards today, let it go. If you weren’t the perfect spouse today, let it go. Try to turn the negative into a positive. If you are stress baking and ate half of the brownie batter, turn it into a positive. Say to yourself, “I made brownies for my family, and I helped my children learn fractions by letting them measure the ingredients!” That’s Montessori Practical Life in the home! If you lost your temper, that’s okay. Who hasn’t? Apologize and talk about how you would have handled it differently. Model how to manage your feelings of anger and frustration. Saying out loud how frustrated you are lowers frustration levels. Telling someone you trust that you are stressed lowers stress levels. Help your children put into words how they are feeling and describe what they are thinking about. Let your children see you take some deep breaths to calm down and reset your nervous system. Learning to calm down and manage stress and anxiety are valuable lessons your children will carry with them long after this pandemic is over. Whether you like it or not, you are teaching your children how to cope with adversity, change, and stress. Control what you can by keeping basic routines and healthy habits that work for your family. Let go of the rest.

5. Lower the bar. So much stress and disappointment comes from unrealistic expectations. When normal schedules and routines are turned upside down, of course things will go wrong. Now is not the time to strive for perfection when you have to wear so many hats. There are some things that we just have to get through, and this pandemic is one of them. Getting through is a huge success in and of itself, and perhaps that is the bar we should set—let’s just aim to get through this together!

None of this easy, but it helps to stay focused on what you can do to maintain a sense of calm and to reassure children that they are okay, and that this will get better. It’s important for parents to assure themselves, too, that you are doing the best that you can with self care, moderation of media, keeping communication open, and looking forward to coming through to the other side once this crisis abates. And it will.

Outdoor Learning Opportunities

While we all remain safely inside our homes, you may have noticed some significant and beautiful changes happening outdoors. This year, the grass seems greener, the flowering trees fuller, the skies bluer, and the sun brighter. It could be that we have a greater appreciation for these springtime changes given current circumstances, or it could be, as some hypothesize, due to a decrease in pollution as people stay home. Whatever the reason, the outdoors is more welcoming than ever this spring.

We’ve all heard that fresh air is good for us, that the vitamin D that we get from exposure to the sun is important, and that both can boost our immunity in general. Most definitely being outdoors on a sunny spring day can lift our spirits. So, as we continue with our physical distancing and alternative learning, why not integrate learning outdoors into a daily routine? Parents can move some of their children’s school activities to the deck, the driveway, or the backyard. Montessori learning is experiential, and incorporating learning with time spent outside is another great way to promote meaningful, sensorial, and fun at-home learning endeavors.

Without too much effort, you might create your own ‘outdoor classroom’ at home. A blanket spread out on the grass and a book (or audiobook) makes for a lovely afternoon reading experience. Bring along a few furry (stuffed animal) friends for a read-aloud picnic and book club party! Sidewalk chalk on the driveway or front walkway might be a fun way to share uplifting messages to passersby while practicing writing at the same time. Older children might do some journal writing while sitting on the front step.

You might find that many outdoor learning opportunities naturally lend themselves to cross-curricular lessons. Combine science with language by having children dictate or write descriptions of their observations of birds, trees, flowers, or backyard visitors. Invoke an art lesson, as well, by providing your child with a sketchbook and some colored pencils or watercolors to then illustrate some of those same observations.

Certain activities are best suited for outside, such as science experiments, especially if they involve water or potentially messy materials, as cleanup is much easier! Go outside and record the daily temperature, or watch which way shadows are cast at different times throughout the day. Show your child which direction is north and see if he or she can estimate the time by where the shadows fall.

You might generate new interest in math lessons involving counting, addition, subtraction, or other functions by having your child use natural objects such as leaves, rocks, or sticks. Tally how many times a squirrel passes by or how many cars drive past the house. Simply being outside invokes the use of senses, so opportunities for Sensorial lessons abound. Sort items by categories such as rough/smooth or heavy/light, or by color or shape or size. Listen to the surrounding sounds and identify or chart them. How many are made by living things (birds, people) vs. non-living things (cars, doors slamming), and then discuss how would you categorize the sound of the wind?

Also remember to offer time for simple, unstructured free-play outside. With an adult nearby but not involved, children can create entire worlds for themselves using their imaginations and their surroundings. Many ‘old fashioned’ games, as well as outdoor lessons, require very few materials or supplies. By allowing your child to take in the sights, sounds, scents, and textures in nature, you’re sure to see learning unfold naturally.

Maintaining a Montessori Mindset through COVID-19

Quilt by Rita Cupano of The Cherry Hat

We have updated an older post originally geared at helping parents ‘maintain a Montessori mindset in the summer’. Many of the same ideas hold true during this very strange and unsettling pandemic where families must adapt to home learning while schools are closed. It is our hope that your family may find some helpful hints and techniques to try at home as you work to find the best balance for family home life while integrating school activities. Fortunately, we have always maintained that Montessori is more than ‘school’ and is really more a way of life! We continue to wish everyone well and will remain a support in the best way that we can.

To help maintain a ‘Montessori mindset” throughout this ‘new normal’, there are a few things that parents can do. A good place to start is by following the example of Montessori teachers who take great care in preparing their classroom environments, upholding expectations for everyone in the classroom community, and following the children’s lead as their interests and needs come into focus. With a little planning, you can create a bridge between what your child has been doing in his or her Montessori school environment and your own home during these days of home learning.

First: Prepare your environment.

Keep an assortment of activities available for your child to use during the ‘down times’ of the day when chores are finished and activities are not planned. Items should be placed where the children can reach them, and a child-sized work area should be established. This allows your child to make decisions about what to do with his or her free time and to be able to do things independently, without mom, dad, or a caregiver having to participate at all times. To help you begin, think about the places where you and your child spend the most time.

In the Kitchen

You might consider designating a shelf in your kitchen to hold activities such as:

An art box with child-safe scissors, scrap paper, colored pencils, leaves, ribbons, buttons, glue sticks, and a tablemat encourages children to create imaginative collages.
Small pitchers and a collection of cups provide opportunities for practice with pouring dry ingredients (like beans and rice) or liquids.
A large, deep tray or dish filled with sand or salt along with seashells, a small rake, and pretty stones invites your child to design ever-changing paths in his or her own miniature Zen garden.

In the Family Room

A basket of books in a cozy corner with pillows and good lighting invites children to spend some time each day in the company of good books.
Recycled items in a basket become building materials where children construct rockets, sculptures, or skyscrapers. Save tissue boxes, oatmeal containers, paper towel tubes, empty water bottles, and other ‘trash’ items for inventive uses
A collection of objects (marbles, coins, cotton balls) and number cards offer practice in matching quantities to the numbers.

Also, rotating puzzles, matching cards, counting activities, and favorite toys every few weeks keeps things interesting and fresh, as children choose which activities they would like to do.

In the Backyard

Don’t forget to prepare things in a space outside, too!

On warmer days, a bucket with fresh water alongside sponges and paintbrushes might inspire your child to wash the deck or outdoor furniture.
A tray with bubble-making supplies and unusual bubble blowers such as funnels, rope tied into a circle, and a slotted spoon put a new twist on an old favorite activity.
A container garden with a watering can and weeding gloves helps your child take responsibility for the care of plants. Consider herbs that smell good and that may be used in cooking!
A butterfly net and bug viewer might be kept together for children to investigate how animals behave in your backyard.

It may take a little time and creativity to collect household items to use for the activities, but this preparation of your home environment is worth the effort. And it needn’t be expensive. You can easily use items you already have available around the house. After you have your prepared environment, show your children what activities are available, where they may do their work, and what to do when they are finished using the materials, just like their teachers do at school. Then, let them enjoy the freedom to choose their work and play!

Second: Uphold your expectations that your children are contributing members of daily family life.

In a Montessori classroom, children learn to respect themselves, others, and the environment. They know that everyone has responsibilities and that the classroom community relies on everyone contributing and doing his or her job. Parents are fully aware that just because everyone is now together at home all day every day doesn’t mean that families are on a ‘vacation’ from the usual day-to-day responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. So, while your children are at home, be sure to include them in these necessary daily chores. They will be happy to show off the Practical Life skills that they have been developing thus far this school year! Have your children help with age-appropriate tasks such as:

Setting the table
Sorting laundry
Sweeping the front walkway
Assisting with mealtime food preparation
Scrubbing the back deck with sponges and soapy water

Not only does upholding your expectations allow them to practice their skills, but it also confirms that your children (and the work that they do) are important. That is a very motivating feeling! Patience on the part of the parent is essential for helping your child to grow in his or her mastery of these skills, so give your children time to complete their work to the best of their ability, which will result in a great sense of accomplishment (and in all likelihood, a much more willing little household helper!).

Finally: Challenge yourself to “follow the child”.

In Montessori classrooms, teachers learn to ‘follow the child’, and now is an opportune time for parents to try to do the same.

But first, what does it mean to “follow the child”? At its essence, it means to observe your child and to open the doors that your child is knocking on with his or her questions, interests, and behaviors. As your child chooses activities around the house, you might pay attention to which ones he or she chooses over and over again and which ones are left to collect dust. The toys and games being used most often are certainly drawing your child’s attention, and you can try to uncover just what it is about these things that intrigue your child. Maybe he or she is drawn to everything decorated with bugs and dinosaurs. Well, there’s the door waiting to be opened—take some virtual field trips online and look at museums specializing in your child’s interests or search online for YouTube videos of experiments, book read-alouds, or other resources where together you can discover more of what your child is keen on learning about. Or maybe you observe that the most repeated activities are those where your child feels most challenged or most relaxed, and that is what keeps him or her coming back again and again. Stand back as your child works and plays. What do you notice?

Equally important are those children’s items around the house that are collecting dust. Is your child-size easel always clean and bare? Maybe your child doesn’t know what to do with it. Perhaps a fresh supply of watercolors or different sizes of paper or brushes might inspire a new or renewed interest in art. Again, an online tour of a gallery or online art activities might open a new door to artistic expression for your child. By quietly observing your child, you can get some great insights into his or her interests, as well as his or her needs.

Following the child doesn’t mean that you can’t also offer suggestions for activities you might like to do together during this time. And if you have a special interest, share it with your children. Astronomy? Gaze at the nighttime sky and try to identify different constellations. Read the myths behind their names and visit an online planetarium to learn even more. These experiences nurture your children’s natural curiosity and provide them with ways to extend their learning beyond books and into the ‘real world’.

Other ideas for following your child’s interests and expanding your child’s home learning experiences include:

Exploring the outdoors–look for animal tracks, build fairy houses, and learn what types of trees and plants are growing in your backyard.
Going on virtual trips. There are many famous historical sites and museums rich in culture, art, and nature that are offering online tours for free!
Looking at maps and planning routes for any travel adventures you might like to go on the future.
Inviting your children to brainstorm what charitable acts they could do to help others. Even though we are to practice ‘social distancing’, this could be a great time to plan for things to do in the future or creatively brainstorm what can be done while being physically distant from others. What about videotaping your child reading stories and emailing those video links to family, friends, or neighbors to stay in touch?

Together you can choose do-able options from this list. Then let your child outline a plan and put it into action. But remember to stand back and observe your children’s efforts—you will be amazed by what they think and at what they can do when you trust yourself to follow their lead!

With a little preparation, patience, and a “Montessori mindset”, you can provide your child with fulfilling activities that reinforce the skills he or she has gained in the actual classroom. Hopefully, this and the guidance of our teachers and staff can assist you in navigating through the home learning experience until everyone can return to school. At that time, we’ll look forward to hearing about everyone’s home adventures!