Category Archives: Parenting

Seven Extra Hours

By: Alex Chiu

What if you and your child were given the gift of seven extra hours to your day or even to your week? Most of us would probably be thrilled to have that extra time to do all of the things we complain that we never have the time to do! Looking at some shocking statistics from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), it might just be possible to find those seven extra hours. According to the AAP, “today’s children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones, and other electronic devices” (www.aap.org). Seven hours a day. That is longer than an average school day in the United States. And adults might be right up there with their own screen time, too, if they carefully and honestly looked at how they spent their leisure time.

So why should we be concerned, and what can we do? The prevalence of media and modern devices has many of us in a frenzy to keep up with the latest trends and to be ‘connected’ at all times. There are great advantages to having access to media and all of the new technology, and there are many excellent and appropriate times and places for its use. However, we need to be careful that too much screen time, especially for children, doesn’t negatively impact their growth and development.

And we do know that are consequences to our children’s media use. Childhood obesity and shorter attention spans are just two issues linked to media overuse by children that have raised the alarm for parents and experts alike. From a child development perspective, young children need hands-on, real world, sensory-rich activities that promote concentration, experimentation, and socialization much more than they need to leap into a cyber world. As Maria Montessori said, “It is through appropriate work and activities that the character of the child is transformed.  Work influences his development in the same way that food revives the vigor of a starving man.  We observe that a child occupied with matters that awaken his interest seems to blossom, to expand, evincing undreamed of character traits; his abilities give him great satisfaction, and he smiles with a sweet and joyous smile.” (San Remo Lectures).

The work that Dr. Montessori saw as crucial to healthy development in children was that related to real world, daily life activities where children touched, smelled, tasted, carried, tended, learned about, and experienced the world around them. She said, “The hands are the instruments of a man’s intelligence” (The Absorbent Mind), and it’s hard to imagine her thinking that little hands constantly holding onto electronic devices would lead to this goal.

To be fair, some of our children’s screen time is constructively spent on educational purposes and schoolwork. Schools rightly take pride in the technology they offer to their students. Teachers work tirelessly to find creative ways to incorporate technology into their lessons to capture their students’ attention and to make this very big world a little smaller and more accessible to their students. We do want our children to become familiar with cutting edge technology and to not fall behind on the rapid developments in that field. Staying savvy with progressive technological advances is necessary in our modern, fast-paced world. We can even find wonderful Montessori apps that extend traditional lessons, and technology certainly can be seen as something which promotes children’s curiosity and desire to learn more. It opens doors to places some children might not otherwise experience, and it has real benefits as children continue to broaden their scope of learning as they grow.

However, the emphasis from the AAP is that seven hours is spent on entertainment media. So, how can we limit our children’s media use and help our children find other ways to entertain themselves? Healthychildren.org suggests creating a “Family Media Plan” where you set boundaries for what media your children may use, when they may have screen time, where in the house screen time takes place, and how long your child may spend with entertainment media. But once the screens are powered down, what will your children do? Consider moving more, playing more, connecting more (face to face, not online!), and creating more. Just being aware of how much time your family spends in front of a screen may help you take a step back and start to brainstorm other things you’d like to be doing instead.

We know that childhood passes so quickly. Freeing up some of those seven hours spent on entertainment media may provide you with the opportunity to do more meaningful activities where you are engaged with your child. It may ultimately help to slow things down for a little while and result in some of your family’s best memories. You can share those memories on social media when you’re done!

A Few Tips for Monitoring Media Usage at Home

  • Designate screen-free zones at home—especially consider no media in children’s bedrooms.
  • Let your children know when they are permitted to turn on the electronics and set time limits.
  • Utilize parental controls to keep your children safe from inappropriate content, websites, etc.
  • Have a TV/Media “Turn Off” Week—no screen time for 7 days, not just 7 hours! Or consider “No Media Mondays” where at least one day a week is spent without any screen time.
  • Make the media meaningful: watch television together and discuss and ask questions about what you are watching. Or research a topic of interest together online or help your child find a YouTube tutorial for something he or she is interested in learning.
  • Mix up media with movement – decide that after 30 minutes of screen time that you and your child participate in 30 minutes of exercise. Dance, walk, play tag, anything that gets you up and going!

 

 

 

For more ideas and information about children and media, visit the sites used as references in this article:

American Academy of Pediatrics www.aap.org

American Academy of Pediatrics Information for Parents   www.healthychildren.org

PBS Children and Media Site for Parents http://www.pbs.org/parents/childrenandmedia

Center on Media and Child Health www.cmch.tv

Solutions for your Life http://solutionsforyourlife.com

 

MCA Book Club Inspires Summer Reading List

By: Alex Chiu

In the fall of this past school year, The Montessori Children’s Academy (MCA) was proud to host Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore as a guest speaker for a Speaker Series event.  Dr. Kennedy-Moore shared her professional insights on a variety of parenting topics, balanced with her own honest experiences as a mother of four.  She was an engaging speaker, and she enlightened everyone who attended this special event.  Her focus on the topics in her book Smart Parenting for Smart Kids stirred up lively conversation.  The book, which is filled with vignettes and strategies for raising smart kids who will become healthy, happy, and independent adults, raised a great deal of interest and intrigue among the audience members.

In order to keep the conversations going, MCA sponsored a Parent Book Club featuring Smart Parenting for Smart Kids in the spring of 2016.  Twenty parents from all three MCA campuses participated in the six weekly sessions, with each week zeroing in a different topic of discussion taken from sections of the selected book.  A Head Teacher at each campus guided the conversations where parents exchanged personal experiences about the challenges of parenting, asked questions, and bonded over the content of the conversation.

The Book Club provided a platform for delving into a variety of issues that were commonly experienced by members of the group, and together, using the book as a guide, they brainstormed methods for better understanding and helping their children.  Certainly this was the common denominator for the group – all parents seek new techniques for working with their children as they grow up.

We reached out to Dr. Kennedy-Moore and invited her to share some background information about why she wrote Smart Parenting for Smart Kids. She shared the following:

“One of the comments that my co-author, Mark Lowenthal, and I hear a lot from parents in our practices is “My kid is smart, but…” The “but” could be that their children get very upset when they make mistakes, or they have trouble getting along with other kids, or they constantly argue with adults… These parents know that their children are bright, but they worry because they also know that it takes more than school smarts to create a satisfying life…

This book is about helping children develop inner strength and outward empathy. The world tells bright children that their performance matters; they need us, their parents, to tell them that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments. They need to know that we love them for their kindness, curiosity, imagination, determination, and sense of fun. Qualities like these aren’t necessarily impressive, but they matter deeply.”

MCA’s Director of Montessori Development, Camilla Nichols-Uhler, added that many of the tenets in Dr. Kennedy-Moore’s book complement Montessori education, making this book choice something which dovetails with what our parents are learning about how their children work within a prepared Montessori environment.  She explains:

“In Montessori classrooms, teachers guide the children to develop solutions to challenges and problems in a practical way while at the same time gaining self-confidence.  Children find ways to be successful working independently and in groups through each stage of their development and throughout their Montessori education.  The focus is not just on academics, but also on developing the whole child.  Smart Parenting for Smart Kids and the Montessori philosophy share the value of nurturing the whole child.  Parents learn how to lay the best foundation at home just as we lay the foundation for our students’ academic, social, and emotional growth while at MCA.”

Our Book Club facilitators and parent participants enjoyed Dr. Kennedy-Moore’s book and the discussions about positive parenting that ensued at the club meetings.

Mrs. Gallo, one of the club facilitators, shared her experience with us:

“I thoroughly enjoyed hosting the MCA Book Club.  The parents were great and really positive and supportive of each other.  We had five parents and most were able to attend the entire series. We typically started out with the chapter topic, but often parents had parenting issues that they wanted to talk about.  The biggest takeaway from the series was tuning into the child by reflecting what the child is saying.  This enables the child to know that you heard him or her and allows the parent to slow down and focus on the child.  I think a forum for parents to come together and discuss parenting concerns is so needed…  All-in-all it was a positive experience…”

With so many challenges facing parents and children today, having a place where people can come together to exchange ideas and glean insights from experts and peers can alleviate some of the stress of parenting.  It can also foster feelings of confidence when parents realize that they are not alone and that there are people and resources out there to support them in their efforts to be the best parents that they can be.  As the saying goes, “It takes a village.”

A parent participating in our Book Club commented:

“The Book Club offered me an opportunity to pause and reflect on some of the struggles I face as a parent in addressing my children’s needs.  I found it helpful to hear other parents’ experiences and to discuss strategies with them….  I enjoyed participating in the Book Club and found it helpful, overall.”

We were thrilled by the positive response to our inaugural Parent Book Club and are looking forward to hosting another in the 2016-2017 school year.  Stay tuned to learn when it will be held and which book will be the focus for the next set of meetings!  If you were unable to be a part of our Parent Book Club this year, we recommend that you add Smart Parenting for Smart Kids to your summer reading list. And while you’re at it… Here are some other titles you may want to check out while traveling, lounging poolside, or just taking a lemonade break in your backyard:

  1. Montessori Madness!: A Parent to Parent Argument for Montessori Education, Trevor Eissler
  2. The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy, Edward Hallowell, MD
  3. The Big Book of Parenting Solutions, Michele Borba, Ed.D.
  4. Getting It Right with Children, Madelyn Swift
  5. Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius, Angeline Stoll Lillard
  6. Parents Do Make a Difference, Michele Borba, Ed.D.
  7. The Pressured Child, Michael Thompson, Ph.D.
  8. Raising a Self-Disciplined Child, Roberts Brooks, Ph.D. and Sam Goldstein, Ph.D.
  9. Building Moral Intelligence, Michele Borba, Ed.D.
  10. Generation Text, Michael Osit, Ph.D.