Category Archives: Parenting

The Absorbent Mind: Supporting MCA’s Youngest Learners

by Bernadette Fasolas, Director of Hiring and Montessori Education
and Tori Inkley, Executive Director

“Absorbent Mind” is a term coined by Dr. Maria Montessori to describe the natural absorption of information by a child from birth through the age of 6 years. A child in this age range has been described as being “like a sponge”. Montessori observed many children throughout her lifetime and noted how they gained a significant amount of their knowledge through watching others, not necessarily from being “taught”. This was found to be particularly true for children under the age of 3 years. During early childhood, children absorb information by observing, by experimenting, and by simply being part of a community. Likewise, they expand their vocabulary and gain language skills from listening to and interacting with other children and adults.

The Montessori Children’s Academy (MCA), like most Montessori schools, offers programs for children ages 2 ½ through 6 years. Understanding just how valuable the early childhood years are, MCA has also designed a special program for children from 18 to 30 months of age. Montessori, My Child, & Me (MMC&M) was developed so that children in this age range could experience a Montessori Prepared Environment along with their caregivers. In the classroom, these children observe and work at their own pace while developing independence, strengthening concentration skills, and learning to maintain order. Maria Montessori believed these particular qualities were especially important for children to learn and to flourish. In the Prepared Environment, children become engaged in “work” that allows them to gain pride in self, further motivating their desire to learn. This is in contrast to “traditional” methods of education, where children are frequently working for rewards.

In the MMC&M classroom, children become engaged with specially designed, self-correcting materials that allow them to learn through trial and error. At this young age, it is especially important for children to see how things work and to be allowed to move their growing bodies about the classroom. Dr. Montessori felt strongly that children learn through their senses – touch, smell, sound, taste, and sight. In our MMC&M program, children have the opportunity to observe their surroundings, experience a Montessori classroom and its materials, and absorb information using all their senses. Self-direction in the classroom and participating at one’s own developmentally appropriate pace were also strong beliefs of Maria Montessori’s, as children hit specific “sensitive periods” or “windows of opportunity” in their own time.

The MMC&M program at The Montessori Children’s Academy aims to introduce both the children and their caregivers to the Montessori Method of education. The program runs for six weeks and classes are 1 hour and 15 minutes once a week. Sessions are offered in the fall, winter, and spring at our Chatham campus. While children are involved in lessons and working with materials, we also offer information on the Montessori Philosophy, as well as child development and parenting trends, for the caregivers.

At MCA, we are planting the seeds for a lifelong love of learning and MMC&M’s introduction to Montessori education is one of those seeds. Over the years, MCA has had the good fortune to support the education of many young children and then watch as they blossom into independent thinkers and motivated elementary, middle, high school, and college students. What an honor and pleasure this journey continues to be for all of us at The Montessori Children’s Academy!

“It was amazing to watch the development of my child over the six week MMC&M session. His first school experience, he started to understand the work, socialize with other children, and engage with the teacher, despite me being in the room. I would absolutely recommend this program to anyone considering a Montessori preschool education, as it familiarizes children with the environment and expectations of a Montessori classroom.” ~ Aly Lopian, MMC&M Parent

If you or anyone you know is interested in learning more about our MMC&M program, or any of our Early Childhood Programs, please contact Bernadette Fasolas at bfasolas@njmca.me (MMC&M) or Camilla Nichols at cnichols@njmca.me (Early Childhood).

How to Feed Your Child in a Busy World: Advice from a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and MCA Parent

By Karla Gabre, RDN

Every day we are faced with decisions to help build a strong foundation for our children’s future. We make decisions on education, enrichment opportunities, and what technology they are exposed to. We agonize over the choices we have and lay awake wondering if we’ve made the right ones. And often the hardest decision of all? What and how to feed your child! It’s really the first decision we are met with when that little human comes into this world, and we continue to face it every day! Feeding kids is hard work…. even for a Dietitian! I can remember thinking it was going to be a breeze… I mean I had almost 10 years of clinical nutrition experience under my belt when my twins were born. I was used to calculating formulas to feed patients on respirators and making meal plans for newly diagnosed diabetics. How hard could it be to feed these healthy little people? Wow, was I wrong! For me, it wasn’t just the “what” but the “how” that was important. Getting my kids to eat well most of the time in this busy world, but most importantly instilling a good relationship with food that would carry them into adulthood, became a priority for me.

Here are a few tips that I believe are important to help build that strong foundation necessary for healthy relationships around food.

1. Have your children connect with the food that they eat. This might mean you plant a garden together or have a few planted pots of herbs or small vegetables on the back patio or kitchen windowsill. Or maybe you join a CSA or community garden. At the very least, check out some books about food and food sources from your local library and read through them together with your child. It is essential that kids know where their food comes from and that the foods that nourish them come from the earth.

2. Involve your kids in meal planning. After your children learn where food really comes from, get them involved in your family’s meal planning through grocery shopping, prepping, and cooking. Kids as young as three can chop vegetables, peel carrots, and grate cheese. The Montessori philosophy involves children in food prep and serving as part of the Practical Life area of the classroom. Studies show that involving your children in food prep leads to better eating habits long term.

3. Try your best to eat as a family as many nights as possible. Our busy schedules can rob us of precious time sharing a meal. Eating as a family improves eating habits in addition to creating a sacred time and space that your children will start to depend on. Meal time should be a time to share experiences of the day and a time to reconnect. Eating “family style” can also be a great way to empower children to make choices around food. For children that tend to eat selectively, it will give them more control over their meal, as many times this choice can ease the stress for children and increase variety and acceptance.

4. Plan ahead. To get a meal on the table each night takes a little work and some pre- planning. So, whether it’s pulling chicken from the freezer in the morning so that it’s ready to put on the grill or in the oven later or prepping the crock pot the night before, initiating a plan is essential. Busy families may also decide to allocate time to prep or even cook a few large meals ahead of time so that there are meals ready to go in the fridge throughout the week. This food can be packed up for lunches or reheated for a quick meal on a night that meal prep is not possible. A menu pre-planned for the week is also a great way to take the thinking out of the stressful dinnertime hours. Families should work together to create this menu so that everyone’s favorites are incorporated.

5. Be a role model. Having a child makes you take stock in your own behaviors and habits. If your goal is for your child to be a healthy eater (as in eating a variety of foods and trying new foods), make sure you are doing the same! If you have struggled with your relationship with food or body image, this might be a time to take a deeper look into this and work to resolve any issues.

6. Teach mindfulness around food. Breath work and meditation in the Montessori classroom are ways to teach mindfulness and stillness to our children in this fast-paced world. We are a culture of “eating on the run” and this is quickly catching up to us. In the Montessori classroom, children eat together as a community, words of gratitude are said, and children independently choose from their lunch boxes. Talking amongst friends at their lunch table is encouraged. At home, try to make these practices part of your daily routine. In addition, encourage children to “listen to their bodies” for cues of hunger and fullness. It’s important for children to know these feelings in order to develop healthy regulation of food. Many times, when mealtime is rushed or food is eaten “on the go”, it is hard for children to develop these skills and feelings of stress are associated with eating. Meals and snack times should be intentional and joyful experiences for children in order to build a healthy relationship with food.

7. Keep it simple! Strive to make meals and snacks that are balanced and from as many whole foods as possible. Try to “eat the rainbow” to ensure you are providing your children with a variety of essential vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients. Overall, keep it simple and attainable for YOUR family.

For additional reading on this topic, consider checking out the following resources:

Fearless Feeding – How to Raise Healthy Eaters from High Chair to High School by Jill Castle and Maryann Jacobsen

Ellyn Satter Institute – www.ellynsatterinstitute.org

Summertime Reading Buzz

by Alex Chiu

Summer is a wonderful time for storytelling and reading together. Long car rides to the beach, lazy Saturday mornings in bed, and twilight evenings on the back deck are ideal moments to listen to books on tape, share memories and stories, or read with your children. But what types of books should you read? There are so many delightful choices available – both the familiar titles parents will remember from their own youth and many brand new and equally engaging options which seem to come on the market daily. Consider this quote from Dr. Maria Montessori: “Travel stories teach geography; insect stories lead the child into natural science; and so on. The teacher, in short, can use reading to introduce her pupils to the most varied subjects; and the moment they have been thus started, they can go on to any limit guided by the single passion for reading.” So, it doesn’t really matter what you choose!

As their children’s first and most influential teachers, parents are instrumental in opening up new worlds for their children, particularly through the sharing of books. As you read together, invite your child to ask questions and share thoughts and ideas related to the book. Ask open-ended questions or help your child discover connections between what is in the story and your child’s own experiences. Encourage active engagement with others by having your child relate the plot or information from favorite stories with friends, neighbors, and relatives.

With summer in full swing, we thought we’d share a few titles specifically related to geography (including maps and different places or experiences from around the world) and insects, as featured in Dr. Montessori’s quote. Geography and insect themes can promote many summer adventures. These certainly are two areas that lend themselves especially well to the summer months and often become a springboard for other points of interest. Adults may provide the first selection of books to enjoy together, and then based on the children’s responses, parents may offer more similar suggestions or veer off on a different path.

When diving into the ocean of books offered at your local library or favorite bookshop, follow your child’s lead as he or she shows a special curiosity about a character, topic, or genre. See where your summer reading adventures can take you this summer. It could be miles away to discover faraway lands and cultures, or right to your very own backyard where you can delve into the world of the creatures that crawl and fly about. Wherever you go, we wish you happy reading, happy exploring, and a very happy and safe summer!

A Small Sampling of Books Related to Geography and Culture

A Country Far Away by Nigel Gray
A Single Pebble: A Story of the Silk Road by Bonnie Christensen
Katie in London by James Mayhew
As the Crow Flies: A First Book of Maps by Gail Hartman and Harvey Stevenson
Me on the Map by Joan Sweeney
Flat Stanley’s Worldwide Adventures by Jeff Brown
Smart About the Fifty States by Jon Buller
Time of Wonder by Robert McCloskey
Vanilla Ice Cream by Bob Graham
Where on Earth? by Helen Abramson

A Small Sampling of Books Related to Insects

A Butterfly is Patient by Dianna Aston
Bee and Me by Alison Jay
Bugs A to Z by Caroline Lawton
How to Survive as a Firefly by Kristen Foote
Inch by Inch by Leo Lionni
Insect Detective by Steve Voake
Step Gently Out by Helen Frost and Rick Lieder
The Big Book of Bugs by Yuval Zoomer
The Disgusting Critter Series by Elise Gravel
We Dig Worms! By Kevin McCloskey

*Note: Several authors have used the same titles for different books, so pay special attention to the complete titles and/or author names above to ensure you find the right book!

The MCA Parent Book Club

By Alex Chiu with Jacqueline Pisciotto and Imelda McShane

MCA is delighted to be hosting its 4th Annual Parent Book Club at two of our campuses this spring. This year’s featured book is Raising Resilient Children by Dr. Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein. The book, selected by MCA’s Director of Montessori Development, Camilla Nichols-Uhler, provides parents with strategies to help their children prepare for the challenges of today’s world. Ms. Nichols-Uhler shared, “I selected it because Dr. Robert Brooks was a speaker at MCA several years ago. He made a very special impression and shared a lot of positive and insightful wisdom to our MCA families. His book is very practical, and I love the importance of focusing on a child’s strengths versus weaknesses.” The general consensus from the parents involved in the book club this year is that this is one of the best parenting books they have read to date.

The MCA Parent Book Club meets for one hour once a week for six weeks, and each week, one of MCA’s experienced Montessori Head Teachers facilitates the group discussion. The book club is an opportunity for parents to come together to share experiences, ask parenting questions, and discuss their concerns and hopes for their children. The teachers facilitating the meetings provide their professional insights into the conversations as well. Through this book club community, parents connect with others and build bridges between what happens at school and what happens at home. They learn new information not only from the selected books, but also from one another and the teacher leading the discussions. The teachers also help the group members grow in their understanding of how Montessori is connected to so many things and that it is not just an educational method, but a way of life.

Featured topics from this year’s book so far have included information for parents about how to:

• be empathetic
• communicate effectively and listen actively
• change “negative scripts”
• love children in ways that make them feel special and appreciated
• accept children for who they are
• help children to set realistic expectations and goals
• help children experience success and identity

Upcoming topics for the final book club meetings will include strategies to:

• help children realize that mistakes create learning opportunities
• develop responsibility, compassion, and a social conscience by providing children with opportunities to contribute
• teach children to solve problems and make decisions
• discipline in a way that promotes self-discipline and self-worth

The authors of Raising Resilient Children present real life scenarios and then recommend ways of dealing with them. Participants in the book club also share experiences and have engaged in some lively and insightful discussions during their book club meetings! As participants dig into the information provided in the book, they can consider how to apply techniques in their own family situations. Dr. Brooks even provides a self-assessment parents can take to find out if they are nurturing resilience in their children. You can find it online at: www.drrobertbrooks.com/0105.

The teachers who facilitate the meetings often find that conversations grow deeper as parents share their own parenting dilemmas. This affords the group an opportunity to brainstorm together and think about what strategies suggested in the book might help. It also allows the teacher to incorporate many Montessori approaches that are used on a daily basis at school to address certain behaviors or concerns. Parents do come to see that, not surprisingly, many of the topics presented in the book relate directly to the Montessori approach to education in so many ways. For example, a recent discussion that developed at one meeting was regarding the importance of family meals. The teacher could share classroom experiences of how the children set up their lunch spaces and eat together, enjoying not only the food in their lunch bags, but also the company of the others around the table. Parents sometimes forget that children gain skills by helping to prepare dinner, setting the table, and participating in dinner conversation. But children need modeling and guidance (and patience from parents!) as they learn these important Practical Life and social skills. The act of sharing a meal together provides a perfect opportunity for having children learn the art of conversation, taking turns with both talking and listening. And parents were reminded how being together around the dinner table is a great place for everyone (parents, too!) to practice these skills!

Our book club parents seem grateful to have an outlet for sharing parenting challenges. This community not only provides them with a place to release some of the pressures they feel in different parenting situations, but it also allows for new information to be learned and shared. The parents we see really do want to do their best by their children, and we hope that through the MCA Parent Book Club, they have yet one more resource to assist them on their parenting journey. After all, our children do not come with manuals, and many parents are looking for guidance. Fortunately, we can try to learn from one another’s experiences, glean information from some wonderful books shared by experts in their fields, such as Raising Resilient Children, and be inspired by the educational methodology set forth by Dr. Maria Montessori!

We hope to see more of our MCA parents join us for our MCA Parent Book Club next year!

Growing Up with a Grateful Heart

By Alex Chiu

Your spouse passes a dish from the dinner table to your son. You bring a tissue to your daughter when she is sniffling while watching TV. Your mother brings your child a birthday gift. As parents, our almost kneejerk response when any of these things occur is to immediately prompt our child with “What do you say?” Sometimes we do this even before the child has had a chance to process that someone has done something kind for him or her. But what do we really accomplish with that prompting? Generally, children will give the required “thank you” response you are seeking, but is there a real sense of gratitude behind those words?

To nurture a true grateful heart, we must make gratitude a daily practice with our children. It’s important for them to understand that there is so much we can be grateful for—big and small— and recognizing this at an early age helps children grow up with gratitude as a matter of course. Why is this important? Research indicates that having a sense of gratitude can help people reduce feelings of sadness, stress, and loneliness. In his article “7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude”, author Jamie Ducharme outlines how gratitude can help people become more patient, reduce overeating, combat depression, improve relationships, improve sleep, and generally make you feel happier (Time Health, November 2017). And Ann Morin has her own list of seven benefits (seven must be a lucky number!), adding that gratitude can lessen aggression, improve empathy and self-esteem, and promote better physical and psychological health (“7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude That Will Motivate You to Give Thanks Year-Round”, Forbes, November 2014).

So how can parents help their children (and themselves) learn the practice of gratitude? Let’s count some very simple ways to express gratitude at least four times throughout the day:

1. First thing in the morning: Begin the day by sharing one thing you’re grateful for that morning. Warm water to wash your hands, the sun shining, fuzzy pajamas, breakfast—model a sentence of gratitude and invite your child to think of what he or she is grateful for that morning.
2. On the way to school: Comment about one thing you see that makes you feel grateful. Recently, for me, it was having all green lights on the drive to school! But it could be anything—a car that functions, the beauty of the changing leaves, a favorite song that comes on the radio. A simple recognition of “I’m so grateful that song came on—it really brightened my mood!” is a great way to share your gratitude with your child.
3. At home after school: Express your gratitude to your child when he or she is helpful, kind, or considerate to you or any other family member. But be specific and add on to the usual “Thank you”. If your child remembers to put toys away before coming to the dinner table, you might extend your gratitude by saying “Thank you for remembering to clean up—that really helps me and shows me that you’re responsible and that you care about taking care of your toys and our house!” Invite your child to think about who has done something since coming home from school that he or she would like to thank.
4. At bedtime: Have your child share one thing about the day that he or she is truly grateful for—it could have been time spent with friends, learning a new skill or concept at school, the yummy dinner you made, snuggling with the dog, anything!

It may take some time for this habit to take hold, but if you take the initiative in sharing what you are grateful for on a regular basis, your children will very likely follow suit. And then the entire family can reap the many more than seven benefits of a grateful heart!

For a list of fun gratitude activities for the whole family, including how to make a ‘gratitude box’, some gratitude prompts, gratitude games, and even gratitude apps you can download, check out: https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-exercises/

More information and resources on gratitude, including those used as references in this article include:
http://time.com/5026174/health-benefits-of-gratitude/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/11/23/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-gratitude-that-will-motivate-you-to-give-thanks-year-round/#13d897b9183c
https://tinybuddha.com/

And some lovely children’s books with a gratitude theme you might enjoy:
Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? by Dr. Seuss
Giving Thanks: A Native American Good Morning Message by Jake Swamp
Splatt Says Thank You by Rob Scotton
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts