Care of Self | Montessori Musings

by Camilla Nichols, Senior Director of Montessori Development

In Montessori schools, we often refer to Head Teachers as “Guides”. The primary role of a Montessori Guide is to act as a role model for the children in her or his care. These Guides, or Head Teachers, are trained to observe and follow the needs of each child, as the needs look different for everyone, and will most certainly change over time. In a nurturing and Prepared Montessori Environment, the goal is to ignite each child’s inner flame and his or her love of learning, while allowing children to become independent citizens of the world. Children will begin to feel a sense of belonging and that they matter, they are needed, and they make a difference to the world and those around them. Together, we establish and create a community where parents, children, and teachers form trusting relationships and build a foundation where everyone can feel safe, loved, and cared for. We welcome our families on this wonderful lifelong journey of learning that starts here at The Montessori Children’s Academy.

As our families are preparing to return to school, or to begin with us for the first time, we wanted to offer a few tips to help make the start of the new school year as successful as possible for your children and your families.

Read books. A wonderful book that we recommend is The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. This book gives just one example of how to establish a special ritual with your child, reminding your child that you are always nearby and that you love her or him unconditionally. For an audio version of the book, you may want to check out the YouTube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWRV6Tmn5gU

Keep your morning routine positive. Children are experts at sensing what their parents are feeling. So, even though you may be a bit anxious yourself, try to stay positive while you and your child are getting ready for school in the morning.

Keep your school drop-off/goodbye brief. Once at school, keep your goodbye short and positive and don’t linger, as this will only make it harder for both your child and you. Making positive statements such as, “I can’t wait to hear all about your day”, “I love you”, and “I will be back soon”, help your child understand that you are comfortable with the school and know that he or she will be safe there. Trust your child’s teachers and know that your son or daughter is in the hands of other loving, caring adults.

Be on time each day. It is much more challenging for a child to enter a classroom when everyone else has already settled in and is busy working. Children acclimate better to a new school routine when they are entering the classroom during greeting time along with all the other children.

Encourage your child to walk independently into and through the school. Do not carry your child into school, and allow extra time for your child to hang up his or her backpack, coat, lunchbox, etc. Children are more than capable of doing this and when doing this on their own, it helps to foster independence. Practice patience and allow that extra time to “follow the child’s” lead and pace.

Stay consistent with the same routine every day. If your child attends school three days a week, the transition may take a little longer than that of a child that attends five days, where each weekday looks the same. You should allow 6-8 weeks with some ups and downs for your child to get used to the new routines. Remember… a long weekend or an illness that necessitates an absence from school often causes a child to regress and makes them start all over.

Communicate with your child’s Head Teacher. Remember that we are on this path together. Be open to communicate your challenges and needs with your child’s Head Teacher. Share observations and reflections and discuss together a plan/strategy for drop-off if your child needs more support. Discuss this privately with the Head Teacher and not in front of your child. Then stick to the plan and you will see great results.

Support your child as needed. Add a picture of your family to your child’s backpack that can be there as a reminder that family is always close by. Or maybe add a favorite stuffed animal or blanket that will remain in the backpack all day, as the child learns to leave attachments behind and enter through the classroom door independently on his or her own.

Listen to your child. If your child is having a challenging time, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings with phrases such as, “I know you feel sad when I’m leaving, but I also know that you will have a great time and I will be back very soon.” Avoid bribery such as, “If you go to school, I will bring a cookie or a sticker for you at pick-up”, as your child will then start to rely on external rewards in order to go to school. Remember… your child is learning to be a part of society and to adjust to daily routines; not unlike the way parents go to work every day. Encouraging phrases like, “You must feel so proud of yourself” and “You are amazing and I can’t wait to hear about your day”, will help give your child an inner satisfaction that will lead to feeling good about him or herself rather than trying to please mom or dad.

Learn how you can be involved in the MCA Community. Showing your child that you are involved in the school community allows your child to see that mom and dad can learn and have fun too! Attend our Parent Workshops, participate in the Parent Book Club, join us for Harvest Family Fun Day, and drop in for our Coffee Mornings. Speak to your child’s Head Teacher once everyone has settled into the year to learn about the possibility of visiting the classroom to share something from your culture, a recent trip abroad, your profession, or even to read a book to the students.

Some children will walk through the MCA doors with ease and transition into the new school routines quickly. For other children, the transition may take some time. Therefore, it’s important to know how you can help to make this transition as smooth as possible in a supportive way that will ultimately help your child. Most of the time, it’s harder for the parents to say goodbye than it is for the children. So, a routine that looks the same every day is beneficial for everyone.

We encourage you, as parents, to embrace this special journey and to take the time to observe how you can encourage opportunities of independence in your child while taking a step back and remembering Maria Montessori’s quote… “Help me to help myself.”

by Jacqueline Pisciotto, Early Childhood Head Teacher
and Becky Weaver, Early Childhood Head Teacher

“It is interesting to notice that where life is simple and natural and where the children participate in the adult’s life, they are calm and happy.” ~ Maria Montessori

“So, my daughter said she has been cleaning a mirror?”
It is not uncommon for a Montessori Directress to hear a parent, especially one new to the Montessori philosophy, express surprise that their child is cleaning a mirror during the day, and wants to do it again and again! Maria Montessori recognized that children are naturally drawn to meaningful work that satisfies their needs during various sensitive periods of development. Practical Life activities are crafted to foster movement, concentration, coordination, independence, order, and the development of both gross and fine motor skills. The Directress (or Head Teacher) thoughtfully arranges these materials to captivate the children’s interest, aligning with their sensitive periods. Maria Montessori observed such a profound attraction to Practical Life activities among the children that this component remained unchanged across the evolution of her educational model. Maria Montessori said, “We begin the day with a series of exercises of practical life, and I must confess that these exercises were the only part of the program which proved thoroughly stationary. These exercises were such a success that they formed the beginning of the day in all of the ‘Children’s Houses’. First: Cleanliness. Order. Poise. Conversation.” (The Montessori Method, originally published in 1912.)

If you have ever wondered about the Practical Life area of the Montessori Classroom… Let’s take a look!

Control of Movement (sometimes referred to as Dexterity) work in the Montessori Practical Life area, is vital for the development of the child. It embodies Maria Montessori’s principle of “helping the child to help himself”. The Prepared Environment, which includes work that incorporates real, child-sized materials, has the child engaged in activities such as spooning, pouring, sorting, or tweezing, in order to sharpen fine motor skills and enhance hand-eye coordination. This work serves as a precursor for academic skills like writing and mathematical operations. This focused work also cultivates concentration, independence, and a sense of order.

The Care of Self component of the Practical Life area plays an important role in fostering independence and self-esteem in young learners. Maria Montessori emphasized education as an aid to life. Through engaging with materials such as the Dressing Frames to learn how to button, zip, snap, buckle, and lace, or learning how to put on a coat without assistance, children refine their gross and fine motor skills. This aspect of Practical Life connects the development of physical coordination with the cultivation of independence. Care of Self tasks are designed to foster not only dexterity, but also lay the foundation for lifelong self-care and independence.

The Care of Environment work in the Montessori classroom is central to a child growing a sense of responsibility, respect, and connection with the classroom, the community, and the world. This component encourages children to engage in activities such as cleaning, food preparation, plant growing, and taking care of animals. By participating in the care of their immediate surroundings, children develop a sense of belonging and an appreciation for the interconnectedness of all living things.

Grace and Courtesy work in the Montessori Practical Life area is a key component to the development of social harmony and respect within the classroom community, which then extends to the children’s lives outside of the classroom. These lessons, which include practices like greeting others, saying “please” and “thank you”, and learning how to interrupt politely, are fundamental in cultivating an environment of mutual respect and empathy. Such activities not only reinforce positive social behaviors but also help children develop emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills. Through Grace and Courtesy, Montessori students learn the importance of kindness, cooperation, and respect for others, laying the groundwork for becoming thoughtful and considerate members of society.

Children in a Montessori classroom are drawn to Practical Life work again and again!

The work is foundational for developing a child’s sense of independence, responsibility, and self-discipline. It helps children connect to their inner needs, as well as the greater classroom community and world around them. By engaging in tasks that range from self-care to care of the environment, children enhance their motor skills, concentration, and independence while laying a foundation for lifelong learning.

“These children reveal to us the most vital need of their development, saying:
‘Help me to do it alone!’” ~ Maria Montessori