Author Archives: Alex Chiu

“Shaping Peace Together” at MCA

Peace before me; Peace behind me
Peace at my left; Peace at my right
Peace above me; Peace below me
Peace unto me; Peace in my surroundings
Peace to all; Peace to the Universe

Most of us think of September as the end of summer and start of a new school year, celebrating Labor Day as the month’s main holiday. However, around the globe, September is known for something different – it is the month in which the International Day of Peace is celebrated. Established in 1981, September 21st has been designated as the date when “the United Nations invites all nations and people to honour a cessation of hostilities during the Day, and to otherwise commemorate the Day through education and public awareness on issues related to peace.”  Each year, the United Nations adopts a theme for their peace celebration, and this year’s theme is “Shaping Peace Together”.  At MCA, this very idea has long been the foundation of our peace curriculum, following in the footsteps of Dr. Maria Montessori who dedicated herself to peace efforts. The work continues today, as we all strive for peace in our homes, peace in our communities, and peace in our world.

As the school year begins, Montessori classrooms work very hard to establish a peaceful community by focusing on respect for self, others, and the environment. Teachers know that one key to external peace is having internal peace and that one method of instilling inner peace in children is by showing them respect. At its core, Montessori education focuses on respecting children, as we ‘follow the child.’ In the classroom, teachers observe their students, looking at and attending to the interests and needs of each individual.  Children’s work is valued and their needs are considered. Students in Montessori classrooms learn that what they do matters, what they feel matters, and what they say matters. The primary lessons shared in class relate to those three factors and move children towards doing good work, acknowledging their feelings and the feelings of others, and expressing themselves kindly, clearly, and respectfully. This in turn helps promote feelings of being centered, confident, and capable. Children show respect for themselves in the work choices they make at school, in the self-care activities they practice and learn, and in they way they come to understand their feelings. These small but important steps help children feel at peace within themselves.

As children gather this sense of self, they then can begin to extend respect beyond themselves. They learn simple Grace and Courtesy lessons in sharing greetings, asking for help, contributing to circle time discussions, and making their needs known. As they grow in their communication and social skills, they form friendships, manage disagreements, and acknowledge differences. Inner peace and respect for self moves outward as children begin showing respect for others and creating a peaceful environment for all. Moving forward on this path, the classroom community very quickly begins to collectively take ownership of the beautiful materials they share, the space they inhabit, and the kind of feelings they want to sustain while working together. The classroom becomes a place where a peaceful community works together.

At each level, from toddlers up through Upper Elementary students, these basic lessons about respect and peace are built upon year after year, further cementing this important foundation. The beginning of every school year at MCA is all about “Shaping Peace Together”, by planting the seeds of peace and respect inside of each individual child and growing these values so they can be shared with peers, teachers, and the classroom environment. Ultimately, the goal is that peace and respect spread and bloom beyond classroom walls and into our homes, communities, and the world. We see the promise of peace each September when we welcome our students. And we strive to continue Dr. Montessori’s peace efforts as we celebrate the International Day of Peace and promote peace in our world not only on September 21st, but each and every day.

You may enjoy reading some of the following books centered on the theme of peace with your families at home:

A Handful of Quiet – Happiness in Four Pebbles by Thich Nhat Hanh

Can You Say Peace? by Karen Katz

Maybe – The Story about the endless Potential in All of Us by Kobi Yamada

Peace is an Offering by Annette LeBox

Somewhere Today – A Book of Peace by Shelley Thomas

The Peace Rose by Alicia Olson

And for parents of older children, you might like to explore the United Nations site at https://www.un.org/en/observances/international-day-peace, which presents various ways to engage in the International Day of Peace and includes information about its virtual event for students on September 17th, a summary of which follows as taken from the website:

Online Student Observance
This year’s International Day of Peace Observance will be a virtual event under the theme “Shaping Peace Together”, to be held on 17 September 2020 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. EDT. The online Student Observance will begin with a dialogue between United Nations Messengers of Peace and young people around the world on the United Nations Secretary-General’s call for a global ceasefire and the importance of coming together peacefully to turn the COVID-19 crises into an opportunity for peace and inclusivity. The Peace Bell Ceremony will follow, featuring the participation of the United Nations Secretary-General, the President of the General Assembly and the Permanent Representative of Japan to the United Nations. There will also be a performance by the Universal Hip Hop Museum.

Montessori by the Sea

It’s fun to put on a ‘Montessori hat’ and observe families at the shore. Vacation sometimes brings out a different dynamic for family members, but it’s inspirational to see those who seem to embrace a Montessori-style approach as a way of life whether at home or at the beach.

Recently, a family of six made their way down the hot sand looking for their socially distant and safe place to set up for the day. The children immediately dropped their beach bags and toys and ran for the ocean’s edge. The parents paused just a moment, almost as if they were preparing to shout for the children to come back and help set up ‘camp’. Instead, they, too, set down their day’s supplies, and followed their children to the water. Letting their toes get tickled by a few waves that rolled to shore, they clearly were delighted by the sand and surf. After a few minutes they all turned around and walked back up to their beach area. There was not one murmur of dissent spoken by any of the children. All four skipped back to their belongings and helped organize their beach spot by spreading out their blankets, putting their flip flops in a pile under one chair, and placing their toys beside another. In this small moment, these parents followed their children’s lead in a lovely way. The joy the children exhibited for being at the beach was obvious, and their excitement to just get a feel of the water right away was met with understanding. Once that urge was satisfied, the children seemed happy to comply with the direction to help set up and organize their beach area before continuing with their fun.

Throughout the day, the family displayed many examples of a Montessori-type of approach to their entire beach experience. While they enjoyed activities together like swimming and playing paddle ball, they also had time where they each ‘did their own thing’. At one point, both parents and an older child were reading, one child napped under the umbrella, one was drawing with a stick on the sand, and one played a solo card game. All were completely content. No one’s ‘solitary work’ was interrupted by another. And when a couple of children were hungry, they simply went to the family’s cooler and helped themselves, remembering on their own to throw away their trash in the can at the top of the beach when they were done. The children seemed secure in knowing that they would have time when their parents played with them and gave them their full attention as well as time to make personal choices in what they could do alone or with one another. And the things they needed, like snacks and drinks or certain toys and supplies, were available to them to access on their own. It was like a modified Montessori classroom moved to the beach in all its simplicity and flexible ‘freedom within limits’ structure on the sand.

In the afternoon, when the children wanted to build a sandcastle, the parents joined in the initial efforts by providing their children with buckets of water but let the children take the lead in deciding what methods they would use to build it and how it would look. Like many Montessori materials, the sandcastle was a self correcting ‘work’. When it collapsed, the children accepted the challenge to see what they could do differently to prevent that from happening the next time. They spent hours on this endeavor, long after the parents retreated to their beach chairs close by just looking on from the distance. In the end, the sandcastle was quite the topsy turvy architectural wonder, decorated with seaweed and broken shells. It withstood the waves that crept closer due to the clever ‘moat’ the children dug all around it. This was a beautiful, child-created masterpiece. When the castle finally succumbed to the high tides that gradually came in, the children laughed as they watched it sink into the wet sand. It appeared that the process of building was what they enjoyed even more than the final product, and so they didn’t seem upset when their castle washed away.

Much later, as many families were packing up to leave, this one, too, faced the end of their perfect beach day. Not surprising, there were a few protests from the children requesting to ‘stay a little longer’. But again acknowledging their children’s feelings, the response was so Montessori-like in nature. “We’ve had such a great day and it’s hard to leave. But aren’t we lucky we get to come back again tomorrow?” Such simple, respectful words made an impact. The children, who very likely would have stayed hours longer if allowed, accepted that response since there was nothing to argue against it. These parents seemed to possess a toolkit of kindness, respect, understanding of their children’s needs, and gentle language, as well as the foresight of simple preparation of mind and materials, which created a simply beautiful Montessori by the sea kind of day for the whole family.

Weed or Wish?

How many of you have children who just don’t understand why people pull out dandelions from garden beds and lawns? Do your children insist that rather than being pesky weeds, these are actually lovely bursts of sunshine that spring up everywhere brightening the landscape? Do they squeal with glee when they see the ‘wishers’ popping up all around and moan with mourning when they are mowed down each weekend in an effort to keep the lawns looking nice and manicured? So what is a dandelion—a weed or a flower? Is the fluffy ball a wish or a weed? Whichever side of the garden fence you are on, this is just one example of a great teachable moment. And while you might want to teach your personal opinion about dandelions, what we mean is that this is a great opportunity to engage in a friendly debate with your child!

Many parents may believe their children are already experts at arguing (!), but learning how to express an opinion constructively rather than combatively is an important skill to possess. Children can be encouraged to think about their stance on an issue and learn that there’s more to it than arguing just for the sake of arguing. They can be prompted to collect information from reliable sources to help them make better informed comments on whatever position they may take. As they gather information, your children may discover that the facts indeed support their opinions. Or maybe they learn that they don’t, perhaps resulting in a change of mind. Moreover, children can learn that there are at least two sides to every issue and that each side might just have some valid points. Being able to consider an opposing view is as important as having your own. Children can gain empathy as they look at things from different perspectives. Even in the simple ‘weed vs. wish’ discussion, valuable learning is taking place as children actively engage in conversation, thoughtfully debate a topic, and listen to another’s viewpoints.

We’ve compiled just a few topics to get you started. Depending on your child’s age and interests, think of some questions or conversation starters that inspire some deeper thinking. By incorporating these types of questions into your long drives or dinnertimes, you will no doubt begin to have some fun and lively conversations with your family!

Is a dandelion a weed or a wish? Ask your child what he or she thinks about the dandelions that are growing in the yard (or on the soccer field, or in the garden). Are they a beautiful part of nature that should be free to grow voluntarily wherever their seeds land and germinate or are they destructive to the landscape and other growing plants?

Is a spider (or a snake) helpful or harmful? With this question, you might narrow down what type of spider or snake you’re talking about—maybe choose one that you’ve seen in your own area. Should the spider be exterminated because it looks scary or could potentially bite people? Or should it be allowed to spin its web to catch some other pesky bugs?

Should parents always allow children to eat dessert after dinner? Children could call on what they’ve learned about ‘red light’ and ‘green light’ foods with Nurse Bliss as they form their opinions. And what is the definition of dessert? Does it always mean ice cream or cookies? Through some fun research, children might learn that in some parts of the world, the last part of a meal, or ‘dessert’, is actually cheese and fruit.

Is it better to live in a city, a suburb, or a rural area? What does your child like and dislike about your own community’s lifestyle? Who might benefit from living in each type of environment and why? What are the pros and cons of each?

Should animals to be kept in zoos? How do animals benefit from care in a zoo? Are there some animals that are more suited for zoo life than others? Is it ‘fair’ for animals to live in cages?

Is it necessary to say ‘thank you’ to a robot? With our “Siris” and “Alexas”, we often are talking to “robots” of some sort. What are the rules of etiquette, if any, in thanking them for their help?

Naturally, your own family experiences and the ages and developmental stages of your children will guide in your choice of topics. As you engage in these discussions, it might be fun to keep track of your children’s current perspectives in a journal or time capsule. In the future, perhaps to celebrate a milestone birthday or upon high school or college graduation, take out your ‘conversation journal’ and see if your children maintain the same opinions or if they have made some changes in their attitudes towards different subjects. Either way, it’s very likely you will have had some spirited discussions and laid a foundation for effective communication.

“The development of language is part of the development of the personality, for words are the natural means of expressing thoughts and establishing understanding between people.” ~ Maria Montessori

Let’s “Light a Candle for Peace”

Our families know that a key component of the Montessori philosophy is the focus on peace education. Not only do students learn about cultures from around the world to gain respect for and understanding of people of many backgrounds, but they also participate in ongoing grace and courtesy exchanges, mindfulness exercises, and conflict resolution lessons. In addition, Montessori students learn about responsibility for themselves and their choices and for the care and caring of others and the environment, too.

In light of current events which make our hearts heavy, we wanted to take this opportunity to once again share the words of a song our school community learns and sings together each year. We know that our children are our hope for the future, so we remain hopeful that with love, respect, learning, and meaningful experiences, our children will “Light a Candle for Peace” today and always. We wish and will work for a peaceful world for all.

Light a Candle for Peace
By Shelley Murley

Light a candle for peace
Light a candle for love
Light a candle that shines all the way around the world
Light a candle for me
Light a candle for you
That our wish for world peace
Will one day come true! (repeats)
Sing peace around the world
Sing peace around the world
Sing peace around the world
Sing peace around the world (combine chorus and verse)
Light a candle for peace
Light a candle for love
Light a candle that shines all the way around the world
Light a candle for me
Light a candle for you
That our wish for world peace
Will one day come true!

To listen to a recording of the song, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9M8SmWh2Fo .

5 Recommendations for Coping through COVID-19

By Polly Bliss, RN, CSN

We all know from Health classes at MCA that I reinforce with the children five important things to stay healthy: wash your hands, brush your teeth, take a deep breath, eat more fruits and vegetables, and exercise.  If you are in Elementary, we add #6, which is to go to bed and get more sleep.  Your children hear me repeat these reminders, and we sing songs about these things at the beginning of each Health class.

Well, now I have a list of five things to think about as we move through this pandemic.

Children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events.  This is a tremendous opportunity for adults to model for children problem-solving, flexibility, compassion, kindness, and healthy habits as we balance work, household chores, school work, and keeping tabs on family.  Here are my top five recommendations for taking care of yourself and your family during this very stressful time:

1, Turn off the TV. The 24-hour news cycle is too much.  If you must, sit down and watch only the evening news or the morning news.  We all want to stay informed, but if the news makes you nervous or causes you anxiety, turn it off, especially before bed.  If your children see the news programs or the newspaper headlines, reinforce the things that you as a family have some control over.  Tell your children, “We are staying healthy by staying home.  We are staying healthy by washing our hands.  If we do go out, we wear masks so we don’t share our germs.”  Amidst the scary news, point out all the community helpers helping those who are sick and keeping us safe.  If your children saw long lines at the food pantry, let them pack up a few food items to donate and drop them off together.  Help your children understand some of the information that is shared in the news as appropriate.  For example, practice social distancing when you go for walks so your children know what the words ‘social distancing’ mean and what they need to do.  Show your children what 6 feet looks like with a piece of rope.  Keep telling your children why these things are important, why they work, and why they keep us safe.

2. Watch for signs of stress and anxiety in your home. Is your child regressing?  Had your child been sleeping through the night but now is coming into bed with you or having bad dreams?  Is your potty-trained child having accidents?  Stomachaches, headaches, a constant battle for your attention, or whining can all be signs that your child is stressed.  This is the time for extra one-on-one attention, snuggles, hugs, and love.  Keeping regular routines and schedules can be reassuring, calming, and can provide a sense of control.  Are your children worried about grandparents?  Let them call or video chat to reassure and connect with loved ones.  If you have to work outside your home, are your children worried about you going to work?  Tell them you are safe at work, and mention the things you do to stay safe.  Reassure your children that you are all doing whatever you can to make sure they are safe and that everyone will get through this together.  Is your child worried about getting sick?  Emphasize that most people who get COVID-19 get better, and remind your children of all the things they do to stay healthy.  Side note: Washing your hands, brushing your teeth, taking a deep breath, eating fruits and vegetables, exercising, and getting enough sleep all support a healthy immune system.  So all those things they’ve heard from Nurse Bliss really are important and helpful!  Offering guidance on what your children can do to prevent infection offers them a greater sense of control, and having some control reduces anxiety.  Recognize their feelings, and help them talk their way through negative or scary feelings.  Children often imagine situations as worse than what they are in reality, so offering developmentally appropriate facts can reduce fears.  Ask “What are some of the things you are worried about?” and “What can we do right now to make you feel better?”  How you discuss COVID-19 can either increase or decrease your child’s fear.  Touch base with your pediatrician if symptoms of stress or anxiety persist and ask for help if needed. If you have teenagers, pay attention to changes in mood, sleep, appetite, difficulty focusing, feelings of hopelessness, or excessive sadness.  If you see any signs of substance abuse, definitely seek help.  This is a particularly difficult time for that age.  Proms, graduations, college visits, driving, and their independence have all been taken away as we shelter in place.  Make sure they also have appropriate sources of COVID-19 facts, such as the NJ Department of Health and the CDC.  Social media is not the place to get the facts.

3. Take care of yourself. Remember the airplane lesson of putting your mask on first? The same analogy is true during a pandemic.  Acknowledge that this is hard.  It’s hard to go food shopping.  It’s hard putting three meals and snacks together every day.  It’s hard keeping your house clean when everyone is home.  It’s hard working from home all the time.  It’s hard going to work.  It’s hard losing your job.  It’s hard feeling the responsibility of keeping everyone healthy.  It’s hard taking care of extended family.  It’s hard when COVID-19 is in your house or if someone you love or know is in the hospital.  Give a little COVID kindness to yourself.  Remember not to put your health on the back burner either.  Many physicians’ offices are providing tele-health, and if you do need to go in and be seen, don’t put it off.  Offices are making it work by having you wait in your car instead of the waiting room, doing temperature checks, providing masks, and doing extra hand washing.  Pharmacies are delivering now as well.

4. Let it go. If you didn’t get any parenting awards today, let it go.  If you weren’t the perfect spouse today, let it go.  Try to turn the negative into a positive.  If you are stress baking and ate half of the brownie batter, turn it into a positive.  Say to yourself, “I made brownies for my family, and I helped my children learn fractions by letting them measure the ingredients!”  That’s Montessori Practical Life in the home!  If you lost your temper, that’s okay.  Who hasn’t?  Apologize and talk about how you would have handled it differently.  Model how to manage your feelings of anger and frustration.  Saying out loud how frustrated you are lowers frustration levels.  Telling someone you trust that you are stressed lowers stress levels.  Help your children put into words how they are feeling and describe what they are thinking about.   Let your children see you take some deep breaths to calm down and reset your nervous system.  Learning to calm down and manage stress and anxiety are valuable lessons your children will carry with them long after this pandemic is over.  Whether you like it or not, you are teaching your children how to cope with adversity, change, and stress.  Control what you can by keeping basic routines and healthy habits that work for your family.  Let go of the rest.

5. Lower the bar. So much stress and disappointment comes from unrealistic expectations. When normal schedules and routines are turned upside down, of course things will go wrong.  Now is not the time to strive for perfection when you have to wear so many hats.  There are some things that we just have to get through, and this pandemic is one of them.  Getting through is a huge success in and of itself, and perhaps that is the bar we should set—let’s just aim to get through this together!

None of this easy, but it helps to stay focused on what you can do to maintain a sense of calm and to reassure children that they are okay, and that this will get better.  It’s important for parents to assure themselves, too, that you are doing the best that you can with self care, moderation of media, keeping communication open, and looking forward to coming through to the other side once this crisis abates.  And it will.