How many of you have children who just don’t understand why people pull out dandelions from garden beds and lawns? Do your children insist that rather than being pesky weeds, these are actually lovely bursts of sunshine that spring up everywhere brightening the landscape? Do they squeal with glee when they see the ‘wishers’ popping up all around and moan with mourning when they are mowed down each weekend in an effort to keep the lawns looking nice and manicured? So what is a dandelion—a weed or a flower? Is the fluffy ball a wish or a weed? Whichever side of the garden fence you are on, this is just one example of a great teachable moment. And while you might want to teach your personal opinion about dandelions, what we mean is that this is a great opportunity to engage in a friendly debate with your child!

Many parents may believe their children are already experts at arguing (!), but learning how to express an opinion constructively rather than combatively is an important skill to possess. Children can be encouraged to think about their stance on an issue and learn that there’s more to it than arguing just for the sake of arguing. They can be prompted to collect information from reliable sources to help them make better informed comments on whatever position they may take. As they gather information, your children may discover that the facts indeed support their opinions. Or maybe they learn that they don’t, perhaps resulting in a change of mind. Moreover, children can learn that there are at least two sides to every issue and that each side might just have some valid points. Being able to consider an opposing view is as important as having your own. Children can gain empathy as they look at things from different perspectives. Even in the simple ‘weed vs. wish’ discussion, valuable learning is taking place as children actively engage in conversation, thoughtfully debate a topic, and listen to another’s viewpoints.

We’ve compiled just a few topics to get you started. Depending on your child’s age and interests, think of some questions or conversation starters that inspire some deeper thinking. By incorporating these types of questions into your long drives or dinnertimes, you will no doubt begin to have some fun and lively conversations with your family!

Is a dandelion a weed or a wish? Ask your child what he or she thinks about the dandelions that are growing in the yard (or on the soccer field, or in the garden). Are they a beautiful part of nature that should be free to grow voluntarily wherever their seeds land and germinate or are they destructive to the landscape and other growing plants?

Is a spider (or a snake) helpful or harmful? With this question, you might narrow down what type of spider or snake you’re talking about—maybe choose one that you’ve seen in your own area. Should the spider be exterminated because it looks scary or could potentially bite people? Or should it be allowed to spin its web to catch some other pesky bugs?

Should parents always allow children to eat dessert after dinner? Children could call on what they’ve learned about ‘red light’ and ‘green light’ foods with Nurse Bliss as they form their opinions. And what is the definition of dessert? Does it always mean ice cream or cookies? Through some fun research, children might learn that in some parts of the world, the last part of a meal, or ‘dessert’, is actually cheese and fruit.

Is it better to live in a city, a suburb, or a rural area? What does your child like and dislike about your own community’s lifestyle? Who might benefit from living in each type of environment and why? What are the pros and cons of each?

Should animals to be kept in zoos? How do animals benefit from care in a zoo? Are there some animals that are more suited for zoo life than others? Is it ‘fair’ for animals to live in cages?

Is it necessary to say ‘thank you’ to a robot? With our “Siris” and “Alexas”, we often are talking to “robots” of some sort. What are the rules of etiquette, if any, in thanking them for their help?

Naturally, your own family experiences and the ages and developmental stages of your children will guide in your choice of topics. As you engage in these discussions, it might be fun to keep track of your children’s current perspectives in a journal or time capsule. In the future, perhaps to celebrate a milestone birthday or upon high school or college graduation, take out your ‘conversation journal’ and see if your children maintain the same opinions or if they have made some changes in their attitudes towards different subjects. Either way, it’s very likely you will have had some spirited discussions and laid a foundation for effective communication.

“The development of language is part of the development of the personality, for words are the natural means of expressing thoughts and establishing understanding between people.” ~ Maria Montessori